“Bruce got drunk on a Saturday Night” 

[Verse 1]
Well Bruce got drunk on a Saturday night,
Shoutin’ “Born to Run” ‘til the morning light.
Stumbled off the curb, hit the ground too quick,
Now his tibia’s busted, and he swears it’s gonna stick.

[Pre-Chorus]
He’s worried ‘bout shin splints for the rest of his days,
But tonight we’re singin’ anyway—

[Chorus]
Happy birthday, Bruce, put your hands in the air,
Raise a glass, sing it loud, like you just don’t care.
From the Jersey shore to that couch with the pie,
You were snuggling your pizza, man, we can’t deny.

[Verse 2]
DoorDash called and the pepperoni came,
Fell asleep on top, left a grease-stain shame.
That favorite polo shirt you swore you’d defend,
Now you’re beggin’ for a new one, ‘cause the pizza was your friend.

[Pre-Chorus]
The Boss is on the radio, you howl at the moon,
We’re playin’ your anthem way outta tune—

[Chorus]
Happy birthday, Bruce, let the band strike up,
We’ll sing like Springsteen with a solo cup.
Yeah the tibia’s cracked, but your spirit still flies,
You’re the pizza-snugglin’ legend of all our lives.

[Bridge] (shouty, Boss-style)
Ever wanted a song about your blackout drunk night? (HEY!)
Look no further, we wrote it just right.
Pizza on the couch, polo gone for good,
Bruce Springsteen himself would’ve understood!

[Final Chorus / Outro]
Happy birthday, Bruce, let the jukebox play,
We’ll toast your shin splints and laugh all day.
Yeah you fell, yeah you slept, but you’re still our guy,
With the Boss in your heart, you’ll never say die!